Today marks the six week mark of my maternity leave after the birth of our son. In a rare moment that has been hard to come by in the attempt to balance a 2 1/2 year old big sister and all things ‘newborn’, I find myself with a moment to reflect. I look around my non-showered self to a heaping pile of unfolded laundry on the couch across from me, plenty of unread books I was sure that I would get too, toys from big sister scattered on the floor, a sink full of dishes and a stomach of my own growling. My coffee is cold 2x over. It has been a ride for sure.
Even though it is the most beautiful thing, it is also one of the most challenging. It is in this moment that I find myself in a mixture of emotions – a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Thankful. Very thankful. My little is healthy, smiling, growing, and thriving.
But let me just say, it is not easy… IT’S HARD. And breastfeeding – that’s another story. This weekend we FINALLY got there. After six weeks time, hundreds of pumping sessions and attempts full of tears from both my little and I, we got there. I breastfed with my daughter for just under three months before formula (I am a firm believer that a fed baby is a healthy baby). When my son came, I thought since I had done it before it would be easy. It wasn’t. I was just about to throw in the towel and exclusively pump, and then the light-bulb clicked. I say all of this for one reason. For the new mom who is reading this. Whatever it may be for you, or maybe it is all of it. You are not alone. You are doing great. Your baby is so blessed to have your love. Keep it up. Keep going. Give yourself grace. You are creating a space of love, comfort and security. Remember that. You rock!
If I have learned anything this second time around it is this: in the midst of it all, the only way to soak it in and enjoy it, is to let some things go. Those towels, dishes and toys scattered in the floor aren’t going anywhere, and those books – you can read those later. These baby snuggles though, they don’t last forever. Choose them. Embrace perfection in the imperfection.
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